The Kind of Mother...

Here's a list of the kind of mother I never thought I'd be starting off with the positives:

Extended breastfeeding--I nursed Sofia until a few months after I got pregnant with Jonah so she'd have been about 20 months when she pretty much weaned herself which is common during a pregnancy.  Before I was pregnant and even when I was pregnant I always imagined that once the baby got teeth I would be quitting that in a hot second.  Glad I didn't.  Sofia has been amazingly healthy with only 2-3 colds in her entire 2 1/2 years and one bout of roseola.  And now new studies say that it is linked to higher academic success particularly in boys.

Cloth Diapering--Now before I get all holier than thou--I haven't actually started doing this yet but I am contemplating it after 2 1/2 years of secretly being annoyed by those mothers who do cloth diaper.  (I saw them as too granola-y and what not...) I am considering it now because since we've potty trained Sofia I see how much money we're saving on diapers and would like to do the same with Jonah.  I'll check back in on this one later.

Enjoying being a SAHM.  I never, never, never, never, never, never thought I would be a stay at home mom.  And technically I'm not a full time SAHM because I work 6-8 hours a week but I think I'm home enough to earn that title anyways.  I always imagined I'd be a working mother and again secretly looked down on SAHM thinking they were smothering their kids or just down right annoying and holier than thou.  But I can see that it does work best for the kids.  No daycare = fewer illnesses.  Better bonding.  I know what is happening with my kids at all times and know they are in a safe and trusting environment.  Now it does strain us financially especially since I am the one with the graduate degree.  I do plan on looking for more hours and a 3/4 time job (25-30 hours) when Jonah is closer to a year because while I love my kids I do need to whittle down that heavy student loan debt I incurred and I'd like to pursue my other passions such as humanitarian work.

Now on to some of the negatives:

Too much T.V.  I said I would NEVER put my kid in front of the T.V. for more than 30 minutes or so.  But yeah, then I got pregnant, had horrible morning sickness and Elmo took care of Sofia for me while I lay on the couch in misery for 4 months.  Ever since then it's all gone down hill and yes, I admit there are times when I"m trying to take care of Jonah's needs or do something around the house and I just tell Sofia to stop bugging me and watch T.V. Shock and horror!!!!!

McDonalds.  Yes, Sofia has had a happy meal (or 2 or 5....)  'Nough said.

Girly-ness.  I encourage and have fed into Sofia's princess obsession.  I always thought I'd make my little girl a hardcore feminist but dammit---I love putting her in cute, frilly, cute little clothes.

There.  That's my confessioin.  I guess none of us can be the mother we always planned on being because the reality of motherhood combined with our life's circumstances and our personalities lead us astray from that dream.  And that's ok.