The Kind of Mother...

Here's a list of the kind of mother I never thought I'd be starting off with the positives:

Extended breastfeeding--I nursed Sofia until a few months after I got pregnant with Jonah so she'd have been about 20 months when she pretty much weaned herself which is common during a pregnancy.  Before I was pregnant and even when I was pregnant I always imagined that once the baby got teeth I would be quitting that in a hot second.  Glad I didn't.  Sofia has been amazingly healthy with only 2-3 colds in her entire 2 1/2 years and one bout of roseola.  And now new studies say that it is linked to higher academic success particularly in boys.

Cloth Diapering--Now before I get all holier than thou--I haven't actually started doing this yet but I am contemplating it after 2 1/2 years of secretly being annoyed by those mothers who do cloth diaper.  (I saw them as too granola-y and what not...) I am considering it now because since we've potty trained Sofia I see how much money we're saving on diapers and would like to do the same with Jonah.  I'll check back in on this one later.

Enjoying being a SAHM.  I never, never, never, never, never, never thought I would be a stay at home mom.  And technically I'm not a full time SAHM because I work 6-8 hours a week but I think I'm home enough to earn that title anyways.  I always imagined I'd be a working mother and again secretly looked down on SAHM thinking they were smothering their kids or just down right annoying and holier than thou.  But I can see that it does work best for the kids.  No daycare = fewer illnesses.  Better bonding.  I know what is happening with my kids at all times and know they are in a safe and trusting environment.  Now it does strain us financially especially since I am the one with the graduate degree.  I do plan on looking for more hours and a 3/4 time job (25-30 hours) when Jonah is closer to a year because while I love my kids I do need to whittle down that heavy student loan debt I incurred and I'd like to pursue my other passions such as humanitarian work.

Now on to some of the negatives:

Too much T.V.  I said I would NEVER put my kid in front of the T.V. for more than 30 minutes or so.  But yeah, then I got pregnant, had horrible morning sickness and Elmo took care of Sofia for me while I lay on the couch in misery for 4 months.  Ever since then it's all gone down hill and yes, I admit there are times when I"m trying to take care of Jonah's needs or do something around the house and I just tell Sofia to stop bugging me and watch T.V. Shock and horror!!!!!

McDonalds.  Yes, Sofia has had a happy meal (or 2 or 5....)  'Nough said.

Girly-ness.  I encourage and have fed into Sofia's princess obsession.  I always thought I'd make my little girl a hardcore feminist but dammit---I love putting her in cute, frilly, cute little clothes.

There.  That's my confessioin.  I guess none of us can be the mother we always planned on being because the reality of motherhood combined with our life's circumstances and our personalities lead us astray from that dream.  And that's ok.

That's my daughter

So today Sofia started ballet class. Many a mom has pictured her sweet little angel all dressed up in tutu and pink slippers, hair swishing around in a high pony tail. What they usually don't picture is a screaming, full-blown tantrum throwing toddler derobing herself and refusing to enter the studio, repeating "fwim, fwim (swim, swim)". Well that's because that's my daughter. It all went down hill way before we even got in the car to go to class. For some reason she has an aversion to socks and since we were required to put tights on her she was especially peeved that she could not do her usual sit down, look up deviously, pull and remove shtick. So we began our journey already screaming. Lovely. My mom and I just sighed and continued on, wondering silently to ourselves why we adhere to such masochistic behavior. The entire car ride consisted of "No socks, no socks, no socks!" while poor, innocent baby Jonah slept away in the car seat. When we got to class there was no introductions, no "let's look all the things in the room--this is a bar, this is the mirror, these are tap shoes" etc. It was let's jump right in and start doing arabesques, toe taps and piourettes. All that with a group of 2 1/2 year olds. Odd, no one lept up showing the promise of a future Black Swan. The teacher seemed nice and very patient but Sofia wanted NOTHING to do with that class. She was still a bit hung up on her tights but now she had moved on to something more disconcerning to her little brain. The last time she remembered being at the rec center was for swim class like 6 months ago! Who knew the kid had such a great memory. Well she does and it resulted in a continuous cry of "fwim, fwim" (swim, swim). She did not want to do any of the moves and was just so confused and mad because she was not swimming. (Funny, I recall those last few swim sessions---she wanted nothing to do with those either.) I tried to maintain some distance and then she ran out of the class so my mom went in with her. No change. They both came back out and after crying in my arms for a while she let me lead her back in there. She did one arabesque-ish move and then it was time to sit in a circle. Need I say more? Right, mine was the only one running around not listening. As a side note---there were many other times where she was not the only one running around and not listening so it was nice to know these other kids were not super freaky robot 2 yr olds who did everything they were told. Next--tap..oh, no...it didn't matter how cool the tap sounded on the wood floor, Sofia refused to put those on and ran around sliding and falling on the floor. Finally, after several no-pressure offers to put them on she did and I think she realized how cool they really were. The class, being only 30 minutes long was finally over and guess what? Yep, she didn't want to take off the tap shoes and leave. Oy. This post is starting to sound like I'm bragging about how naughty my daughter is. It's not. I'm not proud. I'm befuddled. Well there it is. Oh and I'll end on a funny note---which may only be humorous if you were there today and saw her---there will be a recital in March. A recital. Ha!